Two Years Alcohol-Free: A Journey Back to MySelf

Two years ago, I made a quiet, yet powerful decision: I stopped drinking alcohol.

There was an internal rock bottom. A deep inner knowing that the life I truly wanted — the one I had been slowly but surely building through yoga, energy work, and self-inquiry — couldn’t coexist with the numbing that alcohol brought.

And today, I’m celebrating two whole years alcohol-free.

It hasn’t always been pretty. There were moments when the old reflex crept in — after a long day, during emotional chaos, or in social settings when I wanted to relax, to "fit in", or to just take the edge off. But here’s what I know now from direct experience: drinking to avoid feeling is not peace. It’s just another distraction.

To heal, we have to feel. There’s no way around it.

Avoidance can look like a lot of things — alcohol, scrolling, overworking, busying ourselves with everyone else's needs — but when we finally stop and get still, the truth rises. That’s where the healing begins. I’ve learned how to let energy move through me, not get stuck. Sometimes that means breathwork, a long ocean walks, yoga, or just letting myself sit in the messy uncomfortable feelings without trying to make it better.

Since getting sober, I’ve also witnessed huge shifts in my body and mind. My skin is clearer, I sleep deeper, my intuition is laser sharp, and my nervous system is far more regulated. There's an ease in my body that I didn’t even know was possible — and a steadiness in how I show up for myself and others.

I completed my Trauma-Informed Kundalini Activation facilitator training last year, which took me even deeper. That work cracked me open — it’s what helped me stay focused, stay disciplined, and remain committed to this path. Because when you see people heal… when you feel the sacred transmission of energy moving through a room or across a Zoom screen, clearing trauma and igniting something real — you realize this is what we’re here for. This is why we came.

Since then, I’ve brought this work to my beautiful community in Los Barriles and to seekers around the world via zoom. It’s become the foundation of everything I do. It’s honest. It’s raw. And it requires presence — not escape. https://www.blissoceanwellness.com/kundalini

Another big shift this year?I finally learned how to kite surf.

Yep — after six years of resisting it, watching from the shore as everyone else played in the wind and waves. I told myself for years that it was “too expensive” — but if I’m being honest, that was just the excuse I used to cover up the real fear: The fear of being out of control. The fear of being dragged by 24-meter lines, strapped into a harness, out in deep water with strong winds and heavy swells.

It was fear, plain and simple.

But this January, something changed. I was having lunch with a friend and I said to her "lets take lessons", I am done with watching from the shore making excuses not to learn. I was inspired by the kiters jumping, getting air and having fun playing. I felt ready. I moved through it. I took the lessons, got the bruises, humbled myself, and stuck with it. And now — I’m certified and officially independent, although I am not yet riding on my own, and I’m in awe of what my body and spirit can do when I say yes instead of maybe later. A big part of my kiting journey was with a friend Peter who gave of himself - time, knowledge, patience and passion for kitesurfing. Thank you for picking up my board and dropping it to me umpteen times and for being you!

This journey — of not drinking, of showing up, of facing fears (on land and sea!) — has brought me to places I never dreamed of. Teaching on retreat in Ubud, Bali last year was a massive highlight. And now, I’ve been invited back to guide 30 beautiful souls — including some of my dear Canadian and Baja friends — in another deep and transformational experience.

There are a few open spots if you are feeling the call to join me in Bali August 9-15, 2025.

https://www.robyncollins.info/bali

I’ll be arriving clear, grounded, and fully me. No hangovers, no anxiety, no drama. Just presence.

If you’re wondering what’s on the other side of saying no to alcohol… it’s this: Real connection. Clarity. Courage. And the unshakable joy of being truly in your life, not just getting through it.

Sobriety gave me back my power. And I’m not giving it away ever again.

With love, grit, and gratitude,

Deborah xo